OK last night was not a good night.  Or it was too good of a night.  It depends on how you look at it.  Or who looks at it.  In my books it was not the best night and I know everything that happened.  I will remember it for a while.  Jason won’t.  Not in the future, not even this morning.  Jason who?  Jason.  Eric’s best buddy from the gym, a “straight dude that we spot each other twice a week”.  Straight and you spot each other? I don’t understand what Eric is talking about.  Whatever.  Jason last night joined us for drinks, quite late after his dinner party.  How much did he drink at that dinner?  Two drinks after he arrived, the guy went from Hemingway to Mary Poppins to Nutty Professor back to Mary Poppins back to Nutty.  Do you get the absurdity of this?  Do you get what exactly I am referring to?  Let me explain in detail what these terms refer to, so you realize the weirdeness of the situation.

A study at University of Misssouri among 374 students was published in “Addiction Research & Theory” journal, where science sheds some light on the different types of drinkers (full study here).  Actually not drinkers, but drunk. And these are…
tumblr_mdto5nTUMu1qiqdz1o1_500Cluster 1, ‘‘Hemingway’’ (who was reputed to show minimal signs of intoxication despite prodigious drinking; Laing, 2014), defined by smaller than average intoxication-related decreases in Conscientiousness and Intellect.
In my own words and experiences: People who drink a lot and there is no effect on them. People who would actually outdrink you. You’d be drunk already, they’d drink another 4 drinks after you and still take you home safely. Marc, how do you do that?

tumblr_static_ajzrwtka5ggg8os0ksgco8gc8Cluster 2, ‘‘Mary Poppins’’ (the ever-positive nanny of the screen production [notably gentler and more caring than her original depiction in P.L. Travers’ book]), was defined by those who are high in Agreeableness when sober and decrease less than average in Conscientiousness, Intellect, and Agreeableness when drunk;
In my own words and experiences: Alice. Happy people in general and even happier after drinking. Giggling, check! Hugs, check! More selfies than usual? Check.

tumblr_lsj50vwOi11r294o5o1_500Cluster 3, ‘‘Mr. Hyde’’ (the sinister alter personality of Dr. Jekyll; Stevenson, 1886), reported large drunk decreases in Conscientiousness, Intellect, and Agreeableness;
In my own words and experiences: Alcohol is the only reason why somebody would pick up a fight because of displaced lighter. This the type of drunk you should avoid. They get from irritated (and irritating) all the way to aggressive when drunk. This is the type of drunk that the next day you gather the closest friends of Mr Hyde and Mr Hyde of course and you announce to him that he/she has a problem. How many times will be kicked out of a club because you thought that someone was staring at you?

sherman-farts-oCluster 4, ‘‘The Nutty Professor’’ (the main character of two Disney films who is chemically transformed into a more extraverted character) was defined by being particularly low in Extraversion when sober, but having a relatively large increase in Extraversion while drunk.
In my own words and experiences: This category could also be called Superman, Batman, Spiderman or Bertrand. The before is quiet, serious, reserved. The after is loud, outgoing, confident, daredevil. Flirting with most girls on the dancefloor should be expected. Never leaving the dancefloor is a given. Truth or Dare is an one-way street for them. It has been observed that this condition is sometimes induced to individuals around us who tend to be very… boring. “Have a drink. Let go a little bit. Try to have fun for a change”. And that innocent and goodwill motivation can turn into a disaster. Be careful what you wish for.

I do not claim to be smarter than the scientists of the University of Missouri. But there is one more type. An important one actually. And they missed it. I would call that group…
giphy (3) “The Jennifer Hudson”, from The Dreamgirls and most of her movies and performances. The cry baby kind. Once drunk, they become so mellow, so sensitive. It is a matter of minutes to burst into tears because they love you, life is unfair, you said something hurtful or because they so so happy tonight. It is true that they are a downer, plus not a pretty site once the make-up is gloriously screwed up. They also tend to grief till they finally go to bed. But do not expect the next day to be any brighter…

Which type are you?

Which type of drinker are you?

And fairly so, you ask which type I am. There is only one way to have reliable proof. I will write a post after some wine consumption and let’s see how it comes out. No difference? Super happy? Daring? Sweet? Sad? I am curious too…
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