I don’t get it. I just do not get it. I might not be the brightest in the bunch, but these are just way too abstract, complex, weird. What happened to the good old days when they showed semi-naked men, splashing around at the beach or getting out of bed or flirting with a girl? Why all this substance now? Actually it is not real substance, but what marketing thinks we think substance is.  In the world of advertising, the below are glorious attempts to avoid the superficial and the vain. The recipe is easy: you take a celeb with an equity, always handsome though, and you have them do some weird things or say some gibberish that sounds deep (trust me it isn’t). Oh do not forget to add music that makes you think. No, not just think. Music which makes you REFLECT. And there! You now have an ad that is upscale, monumental, different and definitely… deep. VERY DEEP!

So these are the DEEPEST Perfume ads of all times (and the WORST for me)

Dolce & Gabbana The One
Matthew, aren’t you arriving a bit too late at the party? And aren’t you a bit overdressed for cleaning up the place? By the way you are picking up only half the stuff, you left tons behind. Stop walking, go back. It seems like nothing can stop you. Not the crazy lady laughing by herself, nor the blind old man talking also to himself . Thanx for the coat on the sleeping beauty, but she was not cold, plus you woke her up. Good job. Deep phrase “If you know who you are, you have nothing to prove”. What were you trying to prove going through this “bordelle” of a party? And I insist. You are overdressed even for the beach!!!

Dior Sauvage
I adore the music. It seems that is suffocating you, Johnny. OK fine, you need to escape. Go go, man! Which way? Is it the right way? You see on your way tons of machinery, a huge buffalo, a wolf and not a single car or human soul. Is it the right way? What do you think? The deep words: “What am I looking for? Something I can’t see.” Johnny, indeed when I saw you with the shovel, I thought you were looking for something. But then you buried the stuff you bought from the flea market in Bangkok. So you are hiding something, this is the right term. Something cheap I must add, that did not deserve the trip. Leave it on a table at McDo’s and somebody might take it, if you are lucky. By the way I am really worried about you. Not because it looks like a huge spaceship is about to land from above, but because of your eyes, boy. How many days haven’t you slept? They are darker than dark? No makeup around either? Those aliens will not be impressed…

Chanel No 5
Brad! Pitt! With a stroke, or several strokes during the 30 seconds. Lots of deep words in this one, like “the world turns and we turn with it”. At the end he wakes up suddenly and says something about his luck, his fate and his fortune. And Chanel no 5. Inevitable, right? Sure. Whatever…

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