If I am Eva, then my dad is God, right? So this post is about him. My own God. My Dad. So please allow me a cliche post for the day. Since I woke up late, you might have read already read a few things about Father’s Day. If this is the case, then skip the text and go directly to the nice videos below. They are heart warming. In any case this is a letter directed to my Dad, so you are not missing much. Your first question might be “but why today, if Father’s Day was in Switzerland two weeks ago?”. Dad does not live in Switzerland. And the answer to your second question “why are you publishing this?” is because I want to make my appreciation loud and I do not have the talent to make a video like the below. So dad this is for you.
Indeed this is for you. It comes a bit late. Maybe a couple of decades late. Not because I was out till late last night, but because I had to be out in life for a while to understand. You. And us. If you think that all these years, I did not care, it is not true. I just did not get it.
I did not get the complexity of your simplicity. You always see things so simple, so light. I thought that “empty your mind”, that you kept telling me since I was teenager, was a thing that peasants say and do, because their brains are not complex. I had to read a lot of Swami Vivekananda and hear it from the best NYC shrink that controlling the mind and the ability to “empty” it (you can call it meditation commercially) is the most liberating trick and leads to a fulfilling self awareness. I still have to learn from you how to do it.
I did not get the power of being always so calm and under control. I thought it was indifference. Now I realize that you were not aloof, but wise and efficient.
I did not get it why you are poor with words, but so rich with actions. You never told me what is the right thing to do in life, but you always did the right thing. Always hard working, but still prioritizing the fun part of life (in my mind you always laugh, I do not remember you ever angry). Nowadays I look up to all these that were so natural for you and seem such a challenge for me at times. I guess this is what we call at work “Lead by example, not words”.
I did not get it how you cannot learn from the betrayals, the lack of gratitude of others. You were notorious about giving a lot more than you ever got. As I mature myself and walk down a similar path, I recognize that this is an attitude we choose in life. To be persistent with falling in love with friends and people around us, with what we believe in, with what makes us feel good, despite the heartache, the failures, the setbacks.
I did not get it why we all had to eat together at the same time at the table and leave my favorite show on TV or stop talking on the phone to my friends. Now when I eat alone in front of my favorite show on youtube, I cant wait to be back home and eat together at the same time at the table. Without TV. Without the mobile.
I did not get your “obsession” with nature. With growing trees and vegetables, with staring the sea for hours, with waking up to the view of a forest. Now when we do these things together, I feel most peaceful. I feel that this is a connection I want to nurture more in my life, that like you, this can be my way out from the everyday madness.
I can write more. But it will be more words. And you are not good with words. And I might not be either (and I am a blogger, I know you have no idea what that is). I fear you might prefer to quickly get back to petting your peach trees and to go swimming, as you do all year round. So I stop here. I cant wait to see your big genuine smile full of love and anticipation at the airport, as you welcome me back home every single time.
Thank you, dad. Now I finally get it…”