Is it in his eyes?
Oh no! You’ll be deceived
Is it in his sighs?
Oh no! He’ll make believe
Is it in his face?
Oh no! That’s just his charms
In his warm embrace?
Oh no! That’s just his arms
Do you remember Cher singing this in some movie? It was my mom’s favorite song. But this post is not about my mom’s musical taste. It is about Marc. Actually it is not even about Marc. (What the heck is it about, girl?!?!?!) It is about men. it is about men and their ways. But indeed it is inspired by Marc and thus the connection to the above song. On Wednesday I went to have lunch with Marc, just across the street from his workplace. the usual spot with soups & salads. When I sat down at a table by the window to wait for Marc, I realized that the two girls behind me, were passionately talking about a guy. What a surprise. Wait, there was a surprise. It was about Marc!! thank God, it was all positive, otherwise I would have jumped on them. And what were they saying? Exactly like the song above. “What is it about Marc that makes him so irresistible?”. “is it his think dark luscious hair? Is it his wide shoulders and sportive physique? is it his sexy smile?” And the biggest surprise was the final verdict. IT IS DEFINITELY HIS WAY WITH WOMEN! “It is how he makes you feel, how he treats you…”. Oh wow! Maybe I should study Marc. And I did. I proposed to him to go for a romantic dinner. He asked “why”. I said “because” and we set it for Friday night. Tons of mental notes that I share below as a recipe of sexiness and seduction. A recipe that beats any pearl necklace. Savoir vivre at its best…
HOW TO BE A GENTLEMAN-8 little things for a BIG difference
Get there first
Needless to say that gentlemen are punctual (we should all be), but you might want to arrive a bit earlier and give her the impression that you were SO eager to see her that you got there early. You just couldn’t wait. Plus this way you automatically become the host for the evening. Ah and don’t brag about it and no guilt trips, ie “I did not mind waiting here for you for the last 47 minutes”. In case you confused this one with another destination (you know what I mean), in “that” case you have to get there last…
Walk on the “right” side
No, no, not on her right. But do it right. It is not as random as you think. For real gentlemen nothing is random. Walking on the street, the gentleman in on the side of cars (close to the curb). Going up the stairs, he is behind her. Going down the stairs or an escalator, the gentleman is front of her. It is all a matter of practice. Eventually you wont even think about this. It will be reflex like when you stand up and offer your seat to an older person at the tram (you do that, right?).
After you, madam…
OK a well known one. But who does it? Reading this right now, you are saying “DUH, what a wisdom, of course men open the door for women”, but I have spent hours at Manor holding the door for men of all ages to go through, till actually the store closed. Remember that if it is a revolving door, you have to go first, similar to when you walk with her through a crowd.
Get up, dude!!!
In case you are already at the bar, the restaurant or lounge and you are sitting comfortably waiting for her, once she shows up, you have to get up. Actually men are supposed to get up when they greet people regardless of gender. Only women are allowed to greet people seated.
Pull it out and show her the way.
The chair bit is not that difficult, right? Just pull out the chair and wait for her to sit first. Unless you are at a booth (are you taking her to a diner or Subway actually?!?!?!). Waiting for her to sit first might take a few seconds, since a lady does not land on her bum as fast as guys do, there are always a few things to take care before settling down. But how pressed with time are you, man? This is your queen we are talking about.
Eyes on me, monsieur. And you get the wall.
When I put this way, I get the “duh, so obvious again”. But let me list a few behaviors and you tell me if my reminder is justified. You start talking about yourself. The insane day in the office, your unfair boss, the tax return that just came in and it is not a return actually, how many kilos you bench pressed a couple of hours ago, how much traffic there was on your way but you know shortcuts (because you know everything) and you outsmarted the rest, etc. Do you get the point? A few times during dinner you check email, you answer whatsapps, you check the score of a random handball game or even smile to an unexpected tinder match notification. Do you get the point? You sit facing the full room and you have her sitting facing you and… the wall. You let your eyes wander towards anything moving behind her, while she is stuck looking at… you. Do you get the point? Do any of these sound familiar?
Treat and tip graciously
It says a lot about a man, actually about anybody, how they treat people in services: the taxi driver, the waiter, the pool boy, the cashier, etc. Treating them like your boss or even better like your hosts, and not like servants, exudes humility which is one of the sexiest virtues. Another sexy virtue is generosity and tipping at the end of the dinner is a good opportunity to show yours. Regarding the bill, you do not have to pay it alone, although for that special date, the first one or anniversary, you could consider such a gesture.
A compliment goes a long way (potentially all the way to hell)
You know that you have to say something flattering. All women adore this. But not any compliment. Things that DON’T actually get the job done and potentially have the opposite effect: the clumsy “nice shoes, they look expensive”, the irrelevant “I love your Samsung S5, such a smart choice”, the almost rude “oh my, you shaved your legs so well, they are so smooth”, the trivial “you look good tonight”, the gay “I love how you matched this floral high-rise pencil skirt with the high-neck navy-white striped long-sleeve top and the blue clutch”, etc. Instead go for something that comes from your heart (not just your mouth) and is the fruit of a few moments of observing and thinking.