I am not going to lie to you.  I am not going to tell you the truth, but I am not going to lie to you either.  It is hot.  It will remain hot.  And it is not easy.  The last time it was that hot it was in 2003.  12 years ago.  I was not here, but Alice was here and she remembers it.  “This is how we lost Doris, my great-grand-mother.”  And by lost she meant Doris moving to angel land (or the devil’s courts).  Apparently,  on top of diabetes and glaucoma, Doris had also a thermostat.  When the temperature would hit over 35 degrees, the thermostat would send a notification to the angels (or the devils) to expect a new arrival.  And it did go over 35 degrees and the great-grand-mother at the tender age of 97 years old proceeded with this last transit.  Oh Doris, let’s hope you are somewhere cooler than here (if you were a good girl, you should be fine).

Doris was a victim of the lack of air conditioning in Geneva.  Her Champel apartment during those super hot days of July 2003 was giving her a preview of one of the two options up there (see hell).  I am not going to bitch about the lack of air conditioning in this city, I am not that kind of person.  But I will dedicate another post to the best air conditioned places in Geneva.  For example, Starbucks and Kempinski have the weakest systems, to be avoided.

This post is all about solutions, tips, remedies, ideas to fight this heatwave.  But before, I feel I need to clarify what are the symptoms of not coping with the heat, in case your own thermostat is as sensitive as Doris’.  Please seek for medical help very fast, if you feel:
– confusion (and not by state questions posed on your tax declaration)
– dizzy or about to faint (and you are not star struck in front of Brangelina)
– tired/exhausted (and not by dancing from 4pm till 3am at the parade)
– headaches (and not due to endless absurd requests from your boss)
– having muscle cramps (and again not due to state questions about your last tax declaration)
– your heart beating too fast (and again not because you are in front of Brangelina)
– extreme sweating (and again not because you were dancing for 12 straight hours at the parade)
– nauseous (and again not due to endless absurd requests from your boss)
– your urine is too dark (this clearly means you have not been drinking enough water).

Finally I am giving you the known and the proven, but also the unknown and unproven remedies to cope, to keep your thermostat as cool as possible.

1. Drink a lot of water.  At certain Geneva establishments, this can prove to be as expensive as an Easyjet flight to Cote d’Azur, since they charge a lot for bottle water and they do not offer free tap water.  So for this hot summer, stay away from those (see here).

2. Avoid coffee and alcohol.  I am not going to say anything funny here to alleviate the pain.  It is tough.  But this is the reality.  You just have to stay away from both.

3. Showers, showers, showers.  Lots of them.  You do not pay for water in Geneva and we do have plenty of water around us.  Just turn off the water when it is not hitting your gorgeous body.  This is sufficient for your sustainability sensitive conscience.  Needless to say that you should shower alone, to avoid any temptations for physical activity.  Actually if you are going to have this type of physical activity, then under the cold water sounds the safest place.  So I take the alone part back.

4. Wear less, wear light clothes, wear light color clothes.  You might feel your body is not ready for maximum exposure, you might think that dark colors accentuate better your figure, you might work in a bank with the known suit and tie uniform.  Screw it all.  Your health is more important.  The lighter, the better.  You can go back to the above once the heatwave is over (when is that taking place actually?  Anybody knows?)

5. Eat light.  Park the burgers and the pizzas for a while.  Use my best-in-Geneva posts about both next Fall (maybe I should remove them myself).  Vegetables and fruits are your best allies to keep your body hydrated, while producing the least effort to process food.

6. Wear a hat.  On top of being an easy and very effective way for making a fashion statement, it can protect your most important body part from the solar exposure.

The less obvious ones
7. Participate in a wet t-shirt contest.  Jokes aside, the give-and-take of heat between your body and the wet t-shirt to be dried off, will definitely cool you down.

8. Dive into cool water.  Same principle as before, but less sexy.  Or not.  If you do not own a pool or if you do not hang out with the right people, then just dipping your hands into cold water will do the trick.  I mean it.  There is science behind it (something about the heat released from your hands and stuff), but I will spare you the details, because I know you are busy.  And you trust anything I say.

9. Change your bag.  I do not mean the brand, but, if you are used to carrying a backpack, you might want to replace it with something that adds less weight (physical burden) and less heating factors on the surface of your gorgeous (always) back.

10. A bra that is not a sweat spa.  All ladies know that there are different types of bras, some more comfortable than others.  Any stiff, metal parts that can be avoided is a good thing these hot times we are going through.

11. Finally avoid any agents of discomfort and heartache.  This might be from exposure to the daily news to reviewing your credit card statement or from meetings with your boss to hosting your mother in law.  This last one does not comply with the previous rule of wearing as less as possible, at least at home.  A beautiful excuse to offer to your significant other for the mother in law to visit you during Christmas. Of 2116.

Finally a few things NOT TO TRY at home.  Do I need to explain the why?

6d27ffd80b7b2a595cb95a15666b0ab6In case you got any Jet d’Eau ideas…

dog in fridgeIn case you thought of getting the most out of your mostly empty huge fridge…

TvO5n a.aaa-Cool-Air-ConditionerIn case you did not invest in a proper air conditioning unit…

article-0-05155B47000005DC-328_638x408In case you thought that you finally met your ideal soul mate this summer…